ددُعَاؤُهُ فِي التَّذَلُّلِ
53. Abasing himself before God
Narrated by Imam Ali Zayn al-Abidin
رَبِّ أَفْحَمَتْنِيْ ذُنُوبِي، وَانْقَطَعَتْ مَقَالَتِي،
rabbī afḥamatnī dhunūbī, wa-nqaṭa‘at maqālatī,
My Lord, my sins have rendered me speechless, and my speech is cut short,
فَلاَ حُجَّةَ لِي، فَأَنَا الأَسِيـرُ بِبَلِيَّتِي،
fa-lā ḥujjata lī, fa-ana l-asīru bi-baliyyatī,
so I have no argument (or plea), for I am the captive of my affliction,
الْمُـرْتَهَنُ بِعَمَلِي، الْمُتَرَدِّدُ فِي خَطِيئَتِي،
al-murtahanu bi-‘amalī, al-mutaraddidu fī khaṭī’atī,
the one held in pledge by my deed, the one faltering in my mistake,
الْمُتَحَيِّرُ عَنْ قَصْدِي، الْمُنْقَطَعُ بِي،
al-mutaḥayyiru ‘an qaṣdī, al-munqaṭa‘u bī,
the bewildered one away from my purpose, the one cut off (with no way out),
قَدْ أَوْقَفْتُ نَفْسِي مَوْقِفَ الأَذِلاَّءِ الْمُذْنِبِينَ،
qad awqaftu nafsī mawqifa l-adhillā’i l-mudhnibīn,
I have surely made myself stand in the station of the humiliated sinners,
مَوْقِفَ الأَشْقِيآءِ الْمُتَجَرِّينَ عَلَيْكَ، الْمُسْتَخِفِّينَ بِوَعْدِكَ.
mawqiqa l-ashqiyā’i l-mutajarrīna ‘alayk, al-mustakhiffīna bi-wa‘dik.
the station of the wretched ones who dared against You, those who took Your promise lightly.
سُبْحَانَكَ! أَيَّ جُرْأَة اجْتَرَأْتُ عَلَيْكَ؟
subḥānak! ayyu jur’atin ijtar’tu ‘alayk?
Glory be to You! What daring did I dare against You?
وَأَيَّ تَغْرِير غَرَّرْتُ بِنَفْسِي
wa-ayya taghrīrin gharrartu bi-nafsī
And what deception did I deceive myself with?
مَوْلاَيَ إرْحَمْ كَبْوَتِيْ لِحُرِّ وَجْهِي،
mawlāya irḥam kabwatī li-ḥurri wajhī,
My Master, have mercy on my fall (down) upon my noble face,
وَزَلَّةَ قَدَمِي، وَعُدْ بِحِلْمِكَ عَلَى جَهْلِي،
wa-zallata qadamī, wa-‘ud bi-ḥilmika ‘alā jahlī,
and the slip of my foot, and return with Your forbearance upon my ignorance,
وَبِإحْسَانِكَ عَلَى إسَآءَتِي، فَأَنَا الْمُقِرُّ بِذَنْبِي،
wa-bi-iḥsānik ‘alā isā’atī, fa-ana l-muqirru bi-dhanbī,
and with Your benevolence upon my wrongdoing, for I am the one confessing my sin,
الْمُعْتَرِفُ بِخَطِيئَتِي، وَهَذِهِ يَدِيْ وَنَاصِيَتِي،
al-mu‘tarifu bi-khaṭī’atī, wa-hādhihī yadī wa-nāṣiyatī,
the one acknowledging my mistake, and here is my hand and my forelock,
أَسْتَكِينُ بِالْقَـوْدِ مِنْ نَفْسِي .
astakīnu bi-l-qawdi min nafsī.
I humble myself to be led by myself (to submit to punishment).
إرْحَمْ شَيْبَتِي، وَنَفَادَ أَيَّامِي،
irḥam shaybatī, wa-nafāda ayyāmī,
Have mercy on my gray hair, and the running out of my days,
وَاقْتِرَابَ أَجَلِي، وَضَعْفِي،
wa-qtirāba ajalī, wa-ḍa‘fī,
and the nearness of my term (of death), and my weakness,
وَمَسْكَنَتِي، وَقِلَّةَ حِيلَتِي.
wa-maskanatī, wa-qillata ḥīlatī.
and my wretchedness, and the fewness of my resourcefulness.
مَوْلاَيَ وَارْحَمْنِي إذَا انْقَطَعَ مِنَ الدُّنْيَا أَثَرِي،
mawlāya wa-rḥamnī idhā nqaṭa‘a mina d-dunyā atharī,
My Master, and have mercy on me when my trace is cut off from the world,
وَامَّحى مِنَ الْمَخْلُوقِينَ ذِكْرِي،
wa-mmaḥā mina l-makhlūqīna dhikrī,
and my mention is wiped away from the creatures,
وَكُنْتُ فِي الْمَنْسِيِّينَ، كَمَنْ قَدْ نُسِيَ.
wa-kuntu fī l-mansiyyīn, ka-man qad nusī.
and I am among the forgotten, like one who has been forgotten.
مَوْلاَيَ وَارْحَمْنِي عِنْدَ تَغَيُّرِ صُورَتِي
mawlāya wa-rḥamnī ‘inda taghayyuri ṣūratī
My Master, and have mercy on me when my form changes
وَحَالِي إذَا بَلِيَ جِسْمِي، وَتَفَرَّقَتْ أَعْضَائِي،
wa-ḥālī idhā baliya jismī, wa-tafarraqat a‘ḍā’ī,
and my state, when my body wears out, and my limbs disperse,
وَتَقَطَّعَتْ أَوْصَالِيْ، يا غَفْلَتِي عَمَّا يُرَادُ بِيَ.
wa-taqaṭṭa‘at awṣālī, yā ghaflatī ‘ammā yurādu biya.
and my joints are severed. Oh, my heedlessness concerning what is intended for me!
مَوْلاَيَ وَارْحَمْنِي فِي حَشْرِي وَنَشْرِي،
mawlāya wa-rḥamnī fī ḥashrī wa-nashrī,
My Master, and have mercy on me at my gathering and resurrection,
وَاجْعَل فِي ذَلِكَ الْيَومِ مَعَ أَوْلِيَآئِكَ مَوْقِفِي،
wa-j‘al fī dhālika l-yawmi ma‘a awliyā’ika mawqifī,
and make my station on that Day with Your friends,
وَفِي أَحِبَّائِكَ مَصْدَرِي،
wa-fī aḥibbā’ik maṣdarī,
and my proceeding (or return) with Your beloved ones,
وَفِي جِوَارِكَ مَسْكَنِي يَا رَبَّ الْعَالَمِينَ.
wa-fī jiwārik maskanī yā rabba l-‘ālamīn.
and my dwelling place in Your vicinity, O Lord of the Worlds.
رَبِّ أَفْحَمَتْنِيْ ذُنُوبِي، وَانْقَطَعَتْ مَقَالَتِي،
Rabbī afḥamatnī dhunūbī, wa-nqaṭa‘at maqālatī,
My Lord, my sins have rendered me speechless, and my speech is cut short,